How Do You Want It? Relationship Goals

Published on February 27th, 2017

How do you want it?

By Anji Cross

February 27, 2017



In a relationship or NSA (No strings attached) which way is sex better? Okay, it’s a loaded question.  Most men need sex daily, says Dr. Myles Monroe – got it. Clearly (males & females) have different motivations. What man won’t tell a female “he’s really feelin’ her” to get sex? And what female won’t give it up if she thinks a male “wants her bad” especially if “THIRSTY?” Males why marry the “good girl” and “mistress” the bad one?  And females: Why get with a “good guy” or settle for what you don’t want and then kick him to the curb when something better comes along? To tell the truth we (males & females) play a lot of Bull$&%! games for what?! I feel like it’s time to put a label on it.

Check it out… If you don’t want to be in a relationship (let me get out my Magic Wand) Bing… there you go…DON’T BE. Stop “COUPLING UP” if there’s no intention to commit. Let me remind you KARMA is a beast! NSA is what you want and that’s what FWBs (friends with benefits) are for. One day tho, you’re gonna need to know how to make a REAL relationship work. Here’s my answer: Six Ways to keep a SEXY Relationship:


Is it unreasonable to want fresh sex every time you do it; you like variety or have a 3 chill maximum? If you have a type: Eye candy, Gangsta, sugar momma/daddy, tall, thick, muscular, experienced, virgin, intelligent, nymph, freaky, monogamous, polygamous, missionary/vanilla, BTSM whatever it is, say it and be clear.  The bait and switch ain’t cool.

2. BE AUTHENTIC and GENUINE (be honest)


One of the main reasons for bad relationships is MISTRUST. People have trouble presenting the REAL in the beginning.  Instead we get “the representative” but don’t know it UNTIL the “deal is sealed.” It’s a straight up lie. And if he/she is lying out the gate, like that – ain’t no tellin’ what else they will lie about later? Lies are just a symptom of a bigger issue. Trust me, there’s drama to follow.  How can you have a REAL relationship without trust? Answer: Um you can’t.


How many times have you “kicked it” with someone and then realized after a minute that you really didn’t like them? Meeting people isn’t the thing… usually. It’s being “thirsty” that gets us into trouble. Think about that ^%$# before you do it?! You’ve heard it: “People come into our lives for a purpose.” But that don’t mean everybody that you meet should have access to the inner circle (ladies: I mean that literally.) You should be aware of his/her past relationships…don’t be caught up into someone’s else’s nightmare.

4. DTR (Determine the Relationship) ASAP

Males: What if you get an FWB or two… and they always want more? Case in point… You won’t lose anything by clearly saying what you want. The trick is KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT! For every “good” one out there, there’s at least 5 ratchet ones. Question is, wtf are you bringing to the table? Be careful what you ask for.  You might “want” a Rolls Royce but can you handle the maintenance?  Black ladies, put away the wish list and see the man for who he is before judging.

5. Get NAKED (as often as possible)[1]

Naked doesn’t just mean without clothes.  It means without covers, without a masks or a shell. Being vulnerable is tricky.  But you can only be real, and raw with someone you trust. You don’t loan $ to people you don’t trust. That’s like giving pearls to swine. You have to know someone before you can trust them (#3). Getting naked means I can show you everything, good, bad and ugly and you’ll still be down. That’s a REAL relationship.


Relationships must be fed. Believe me your yard will be dry, full of weed and surely noticeable if you neglect to take care of it.  Whatever you did to get him/her be prepared to keep doing just that.  That’s why it’s really important TO BE GENUINE (#2). Shadowing me to get me and then changing up after sex is a just wrong. Compromise is good if it’s an exchange. But the “that’s you… not me” thing is a deception. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids. If you want to have a good thing… start correct. But don’t be fooled – just gettin ‘em is not enough. Good relationships take work. And work can be fun, if you got the right someone on your team. And lastly… end your year together by renewing your relationship for the new year.


Dysfunctionality is a given, it’s been a part of all of our lives in one way or another. But after a while you have to grow up, stop the foolery and connect with others. Don’t let your past control your future and don’t be scared, relationships are what we are born for… COMMUNITY. Blood and guts, you can’t get away from it, relationships can be messy.  But REAL LOVE, there’s nothing like it. Besides, we all have a responsibility to SELF and other’s to BE… Be what? You tell me – comment below.


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