Published on October 5th, 2016


Victim or villain? Truth is we have all played both roles in our lives. Are you the villain? Are you victimizing yourself or someone else? If you are victimizing someone else, my biggest piece of advice is to remember that the tables always turn. Life is like a swing, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. You won now, I’ll win later. If you are the victim of someone’s disrespect, abuse in any form or just the lack of love and attention you deserve… Stop crying about it, trust me it will get you no where. The last time I cried in front of a man I loved, he looked me straight in the face and said and I quote “you’re so dramatic”, ” you’re the dumbass that stays.” Ouch right? Did it suck? Yes! Hell yes! Funny thing about verbally abusive people is they tend to spit up and it always falls back down on their face.


Why do I say this? Because at that very moment, he liberated me! Without knowing it he opened my eyes to the truth, I was not his victim I was my own. I had made the choice to put his needs before mine, I had taught myself to love him more than myself, I was emotionally abusing myself by going back to someone that never really loved, appreciated or stood up for me. So why am I sharing this very personal story with you? Well because I want you to liberate yourself as well. No one is above abuse. Almost everyone I know has experienced it at least once. I WAS the dumbass that stayed but I am also now the strong woman that walked away.


Through “I’m sorry”, texts and emails I stood my ground and you can too! Don’t let anyone give you less than what you deserve, not my ladies and the men either. I see you men getting all thrown out and hit, don’t let it happen. Be good to one another out there, life is good when you stop worrying about who doesn’t love you and you appreciate those who do. Every day is a new opportunity to let go and embrace the future. I might never get a genuine apology but in all honesty I don’t need one, I have forgiven myself for allowing that to happen to me and ultimately the most important relationship in life is the one we have with ourselves.  Love yourself, inspire others and keep an open heart.

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